Wednesday, February 8, 2023

2023 Arrowhead 135: Frozen Fingers and Hot Pockets

I am awakened by a firm shake and look up to see the stern face of a security guard.  “You can’t sleep here.”  What am I doing here?  What’s the score?  I let out a minute long cough, somewhere between covid and a death rattle and mumble, “excuse me?”  “You can’t sleep here, this is the lobby of a casino.”  Some recognition begins to come back.  I’m cocooned in a -20 degree sleeping bag but shivering like someone withdrawing from heroin.  I crawl out from my chrysalis, emerging not like a butterfly, but a caterpillar still in the mush phase and look down to see that I’m wearing a pair of cutoff fleece Christmas pajamas, which probably doesn’t help my “I’m not homeless” case.  I’m at the Fortune Bay Casino, somewhere between No Man’s Land and Bum Fuck, Minnesota, also known as the finish line of the Arrowhead 135.  And it’s been one hell of a journey.  

The Idea


I’ve been running ultras for around 9 years.  It all started 20 years ago, when I started running on the road to improve my fitness (after smoking a pack or two a day for many years).  5ks became 10ks became half marathons, but after a 19 mile run that nearly killed me, I said that I would never run a fucking marathon.  Then I ran a marathon and said after the finish that I was 1 and done.  Then I ran a trail “marathon” which ended up being 30 miles.  My legs blew up after 25 miles (I didn’t understand anything about pacing), I had to shit in the woods, and I walked it in.  I told myself if this is what an ultra feels like, I will never run a fucking ultra.  Then I ran the Mountain Masochist 50 miler in November of 2014.  The Mountain Masochist is a point to point race and halfway to the finish, you can access the buses that drove you to the start line and your drop bags.  It’s also a very convenient place to drop out.  I reached those buses and said that I’m fucking done.  How can these people run up and down these mountains and still have legs that work?  I sat there for 10 minutes when another runner came through who was clearly having a much worse day than me.  He was dry heaving and stumbling and his family met him there, refilled his bottles, gave him some antacid, and sent him on his way.  I remember the runner’s young daughter urging the runner’s wife to hurry up so we can meet daddy at the next aid station with her telling her daughter, “we have plenty of time, daddy’s not moving very fast.”  After witnessing that, I told myself that there was no way that I could quit.  That guy was in much worse shape than I am.  And I picked myself back up and began climbing the next ascent.  During those last 25 miles, I discovered my love for ultras.  It would suck, everything would hurt, and then I would have sections where I felt good and could actually run.  It felt like so many deaths and resurrections.  It wasn’t a race, but a path of spiritual enlightenment, where everything in my life was stripped away to just my pain, my grit, and the mountain.  It was misery but it was also ecstatic.  And the beer after the finish never tasted so good.


Many years later, I learned of winter racing from Scott Kummer on the Ten Junk Miles podcast.  The stories were interesting, but I didn’t give much thought into actually running a winter race- it was a niche cubby hole in an already niche sport.  Then I listened to Scott’s interview of Scott Hoberg regarding his misadventures at the ITI 350.  After listening to Scott Hoberg’s tale of perseverance, hubris, enlightenment, and sleep deprivation induced delusion, I knew that I had to try winter racing.  


My plan at first was to put my entry into winter racing on the backburner for a little bit.  I figured I could wait a few years while I still had some speed in my legs until I was a little older.  But then in June of 2022, after being hobbled by a back injury, diagnosed with facet joint arthritis of the lower spine, being told I should not run again by a doctor, and dropping out of Western States after waiting 8 years to get in, I decided it was time to start my winter journey.  Because what better way to say “fuck you” to the doctor that told me not to run again than to use my back to run with a sled for 135 miles in dangerously cold weather?


The Preparation


I signed up for the West Virginia Trilogy in October.  It’s a three day stage race, with the first day being a 50k, the second day being a 50 miler, and the third day being a half marathon, which the race directors, Dan and Adam, designed after 3 Days of Syllamo.  It’s one of my favorite races, feels like a family reunion, and involves 3 days of camping (and drinking) at the start/finish line.  I figured that it would be a good race to test my back and that if I had to drop out I would have a great time anyway.  The Trilogy went better than expected, and I eked out a 2nd place finish (by some 40 seconds over the course of 3 days and 90+ miles).   


Because the Trilogy went well, I then mailed in my application for the Hellgate 100k++ on the trip home from the Trilogy.  Between 10 and 20 miles into Hellgate, my back was hurting so bad that I wanted to quit.  However, I made friends with the pain and managed to run a personal best and top 10 finish, despite being significantly slowed on the downhill portions of the course.  Buoyed by my performance, I knew that Arrowhead was a go.  And then began the shopping.


Forget about tire pulls or sled pulls (we had no snow in Virginia before Arrowhead) most of my preparation involved reading race reports from the past and exercising my credit card.  I definitely spent more time on Amazon, Army surplus and discount outfitter websites than on the trail.  More on what I bought and what worked, didn’t work, or didn’t get used later.


After purchasing and receiving the RM Gear destroyer roll up sled, waist harness, and bungee cord, I decided that I would test out the act of pulling a sled by attaching the waist harness and bungee to the running stroller that I had used when my kids were smaller (there was still no snow in Virginia).  This was an unmitigated disaster.  Even running on the slight uphill road in my neighborhood, the stroller would quickly gain speed and overtake me, yanking me forward, or if I used the hand brake that I had detached and extended to be able to run with, it would stop and yank me backwards.  A few times when I was able to stay ahead of the stroller, it would veer into the curb, flip over, and take me down with it.  I’m only glad that my neighbors know that I’m a bit of a lunatic already and didn’t call the cops thinking that there was a child in the stroller.  


A few days before the flight to Minnesota, I decided to do a test run at my local park using an actual sled despite there being no snow still and it being 40 degrees.  Not wanting to besmirch my pristine race sled with dirt and gravel, I used my kids’ sled and threw in a 25 lb plate weight in it.  I ran with the sled attached both to the RM Gear waist harness and an old UD vest, which would allow me to pull more from my upper back.  It was only a 3 mile run, but it was hugely insightful.  I ran it while wearing what I planned on wearing for race day-- a synthetic base layer, with a merino wool midlayer, and a patagonia nano-puff hoody.  I learned that for me, merino wool was not a good option.  It stayed wet much longer than the synthetic layer, which was dry by the time I got home.  Also, the UD vest was much easier on my back than the waist belt.  To complete the look of a total maniac, I also tried the cold avenger mask and realized that although I would bring it with me, it made my face so juicy that I feared what would happen in -20 temperatures.  


A fashion statement with a cold avenger and shorts
Training in deep winter in Virginia
















The Start


After sprinting through the Minneapolis airport to make my connecting flight to International Falls due to my flight from DC being delayed, I arrived in I Falls on time and was able to head to gear check immediately (after stopping at the motel to pick up the Esbit tablets I had delivered) so that I could get that part out of the way and then spend the next 36 hours incessantly packing, unpacking, and repacking my sled.  


The next day around dawn I was able to take the sled out from Kerry Park for a confidence-building test run of 3 miles out and back on the race course.  My rental car said it was -18 degrees.  Everything went well.  I learned that I would have cold toes for several miles before they would warm up.  Amazingly, the sled pulled so much faster on snow than it did on grass and gravel.  I was going to use surgical gloves as a vapor barrier on my hands, but my hands got so sweaty that I decided not to (more on that later).  I also used the OuterU face glove, which kept my nose and cheeks toasty but resulted in significant icicles in my eyelashes and eyebrows.  During the race, instead of using a thermometer, I was able to use eyelash ice as an indicator of how cold it actually was.


Maybe he's born with it, Maybe it's Maybelline.

Here’s the gear that I was wearing at the start of the race.  It was largely the same gear that I used throughout the race.  The only things that I changed were: 1) liner gloves at MelGeorges, 2) socks at MelGeorges, 3) balaclava at MelGeorges, and 4) several buffs.  


- Patagonia capilene Highlands Sky 40 base layer

- Ultimate direction vest over base layer and under mid layer (for holding any items, like phone and batteries, that needed to stay warm)

- Patagonia mid layer from West Virginia Trilogy

- Patagonia nano puff from Hellgate 100k (would have preferred one with a hood, but used the one I got for free).

- Amazon Chinese brand compression shorts

- Amazon Chinese brand synthetic tights

- Craft windproof and water resistant pants 

- Ankle length Feetures synthetic material sock 

- Calf length Feetures merino wool sock 

- Altra Olympus 4 (with duct tape held on by shoe goo at the toes)

- buff around neck

- buff on head

- Amazon Chinese brand fleece balaclava

- OuterU face glove

- Dermatone applied aggressively on face

- Ultimate direction vest over outer layer to pull sled

- RM Gear waist belt (for storage and to pull sled from hips if back got tired)

- Outdoor Research Alti Mitts

- Army surplus wool liner glove


I used an Army surplus duffel bag and modified Coleman cooler on my sled.  In the cooler, I had two 1 L Nalgene bottles in insulated sleeves, 2 20 oz hydroflasks, and a 20 oz soft UD bottle as well as all my snacks.  


As I believe the indomitable John Storkamp has said, you pack all of your insecurities on your sled.  If that’s the case, I must have had a neurotic breakdown.  Here are all the items on my sled that I didn’t use:


1. 3 long sleeve base layers

2. 3 long sleeve mid layers

3. Patagonia fleece jacket

4. Marmot puffy jacket

5. Army surplus wool sweater

6. 3 pairs of tights

7. 1 pair of compression shorts

8. pair of ski pants

9. Christmas pajama pants cut into shorts

10. Army surplus extreme weather hood (w/ synthetic fur)

11. Gaiters

12. Cast socks

13. 8 pairs of extra socks (only used 2, probably should have used more)

14. KT tape

15. Too many extra batteries (for headlamps)

16. 2 portable battery chargers (in case one didn’t work)

17. 6 pairs of extra glove (only used 1)

18. Extra blinkie red lights

19. 2 backup headlamps


Not to mention all of the required gear that I was carrying, which I also did not use.  Oh, and a single beer in my cooler (for emergency purposes only).  I was carrying an entire camping goods supply store on my sled.  


So, since this is ostensibly a race report, I guess we should get to the start of the race.  Even though, as with all races, ultimate success is 90% preparation and 10% perspiration and in this race that perspiration can kill you.


For whatever reason, I think that it is a common experience in people to have a specific panic dream where you are in school or college and find out towards the end of a semester that you never attended a required class.  I had this dream a lot, even years after graduating from any schooling.  I’m not sure if this dream is as common amongst runners, but nowadays the missed-class panic dream has been replaced by the panic dream where I am in a race and I can’t make it to the start line.  A series of ridiculous unfortunate events transpire so that I am late to the race and can’t start.  Well, I felt like I was living this dream at the start of Arrowhead.  I arrived at Kerry Park about 30 minutes early, with the temperature being around -20 degrees.  I tried turning on my spot tracker in the car and it wouldn’t light up.  Oh well, I would bring it to check in and hopefully they would be able to assist me I thought.  I then got my sled out of the car and tried to put on my Ultimate Direction vest-cum-harness.  However, I was significantly more bulky as I had a soft flask between my layers causing the front snap, which would keep my vest attached to my body as I pulled my sled, to fly off.  Shit!  I turned on my high powered waist lamp to search around my rental vehicle for the snap.  I searched for several minutes and fortuitously found the snap behind the wheel of my vehicle.  Now, however, I needed to try to reattach it with 10 minutes until the race start.  Stupidly, my vehicle was already locked and I didn’t feel like trying to dig out the keys from where I stashed them in the sled.  So instead I tried to reattach it in the frigid cold, eventually needing to remove my outer gloves and liners to use bare hands to make the necessary fine finger movements to get the snap reattached.  5 minutes until the race start.  I ran into the check in building, found someone that was able to get my spot tracker working, and heard the fireworks go off signaling the start of the race. I thought to myself, what the fuck am I getting myself into if I can’t even get to the start line in a normal fashion.  However, I comforted myself by telling myself that now was the easy part-- I only needed to put one foot in front of the other…. for anywhere between the next 30 to 60 hours.  


The Plan


I planned to treat the race like a backyard ultra.  I would run for either an hour or 4.16 miles (whichever came first) and then take a 5 minute rest where I would go back to my sled and eat and drink.  I had done over 170 miles at the Capital Backyard Ultra previously and knew that this strategy would keep my legs relatively fresh, while allowing a regimented schedule for eating and drinking, and would put me on a decent pace for a relatively fast finish.  This plan worked perfectly up until MelGeorges.  Afterwards, because of the frustration with my inability to complete 4.16 miles within an hour, I had to abandon the backyard ultra strategy.  


The First Fuck Up


It’s almost comical that this race has a supported division and an unsupported division, where there is very little difference between the two.  In the supported division, there are only three aid stations-- the first being Gateway-- a gas station where you can get hot water and buy gas station items, the second being MelGeorges, which is a cabin where volunteers will make you delicious grilled cheese, but is probably the cause of most DNFs with racers hearing the siren song of warm food, warm air, and a warm bed.  The third is a teepee in the middle of nowhere where you can get hot water but no food.  All of the aid stations are about 30-35 miles apart.   


I had a great time getting to Gateway.  The sun came out and temperatures warmed up to a balmy -10 degrees.  The ice from my eyelashes melted away.  I was able to remove my jacket and just run in 2 shirts.  As I pulled into Gateway, I saw Scott Hoberg preparing to leave.  I wished him happy trails (and secretly hoped that I would be able to catch up to him, not to beat him, but to hear some of his tails).  He would be the last runner that I would see the entire race.  


As a rookie running this race, my advice would to be to plan out what you are going to do and what you will need at Gateway ahead of time.  Stop there before the race and look at the layout as well as what they have to offer.  I wasted way too much time in Gateway-- I ended up buying a cup of vegetarian tomato bisque, an Ensure, and a Monster energy drink, a combination fit for a meth head tweaker-- and despite spending too much time at Gateway, failed to accomplish the most important thing-- changing my socks.  Avoiding macerated feet (aka trench foot) was a priority and yet off I went down the trail with damp socks like a big dummy.  


The Second Fuck Up


On the way to MelGeorges, as the sun set and the frigid night embraced the trail, I noticed some tingling in my fingertips.  I was listening to some classic horror fiction podcasts-- Algernon Blackwood’s “The Wendigo” and William Hope Hodgson’s “House on the Borderland.”  However, these stories were broken up into chapters in different podcasts and the Apple podcast app playlist feature is horrendous.  The chapters would not play in order and I kept having to remove my wool liner glove to go to the right chapter.  Once I noticed the tingling, I stuffed my hands in my Alti Mitts and let them warm up.  When I arrived at MelGeorges, I decided that I would switch out my wool liner gloves-- I would remove my Army surplus rough wool gloves (which were also the cause of me eating too much wool as I shoved food in my mouth) and replace them with a pair of Smartwool liners, the kind that allows you to still use a phone with your thumb and index fingers.  Here’s what they don’t tell you, though-- the technology that allows a phone to sense the heat of your finger to be used with the glove on also allows the cold to get to your fingers.  Even though I never felt tingling in my fingers again during the race or had any issues with dexterity, a day after the race I noticed numbness in both of the tips of my thumbs and index fingers-- exactly where the touchscreen contact points were.  So, like a big dummy, I gave myself (probably mild) frostbite on the very tips of my fingers because I wanted to have easier access to my podcasts.  


The Maceration


At MelGeorges, I decided that I would remove my shoes and change my socks.  As soon as I did, I knew I was fucked.  Even though I hadn’t felt it on the trail yet, my old friend maceration had come back.  The balls of my feet were zombie-like- shriveled and white.  The only way to fix them would be to rest for several hours and dry them out, which in retrospect may have been a better decision, however I had promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.  So, I tried to warm and dry them the best I could near the wood burning stove, dry out my shoes as best as I could, and put a fresh coating of petroleum jelly on the old zomb-feet.  (I also had a blood blister on my big toe almost the size of my big toe, but that was not my biggest concern).  Having finished too many races and runs with painful macerated feet as the result of running in downpours, I knew the pain that awaited me but also that I wouldn’t let that pain finish my race.  


The Minnesota Hot Pocket


The section between MelGeorges and the Embark teepee was interminable.  I looked forward to the hills.  Hilly and mountain running is my forte.  I was quickly disabused of this notion.  Pulling a sled up the short but steep hills, with a thrift store worth of clothes in weight, was tough work.  And then when I would get to the top and try to run down, the sled would get ahead of me and go out of control.  While I could have sled down some of the hills, I was apprehensive to do so in the dark and some of the hills were not steep enough to sled down.  


And then between 3 and 6 am, I became unbearably sleepy.  I was less than 24 hours into the race and had no reason to be as sleepy as I was.  However, I think it was because my eyesight was so limited by all of the facial gear that I was wearing combined with my eyelids sagging closed under the weight of my lash-cicles that made it impossible to stumble forward a few feet without drifting off to sleep.  I decided a shiver bivy was in order, and I laid on top of my sled for 5 minutes with my eyes closed.  I don’t think I ever actually got sleep, but that was enough.  I got up and was moving forward without falling asleep any longer.  


Usually the sunrise on any long race is life affirming.  My body yearned for the sunrise.  However, as the ice-crystal laden sky began to brighten, I hit the worst part of the trail that I had experienced.  Goddamn moguls.  Seemingly for miles.  Up and down with my sled violently jerking me forward and backward.  I cursed Scott Kummer for introducing me to winter running on his podcast.  I cursed Ken Krueger for being so seemingly nice but ultimately cruel and letting me in this torture contest.  I cursed the Inuit for having 50 names for snow when the only name that I recognized now was fuck you.  


I was in a dark place which is not somewhere where I usually go.  I usually subscribe to the notion that if you portray happiness even if you feel like shit you will feel better.  However, I was alone.  There were no aid station workers, other runners, or spectators to portray happiness to.  Nothing but inward looking despair.  


However, I held out for this one tiny glimmer of hope.  Back at the Gateway store, one of this race’s spectacular and selfless volunteers, Emily, had told me despite the race advertising that the teepee would only have hot water, they would also have some food there.  With my buff, balaclava, and hat blocking my hearing, it sounded like she said “something pockets.”  My mind grasped onto this idea of some type of pocket food being available at the teepee.  I was so hungry for some hot food-- I had already sickened of all the food that I was carrying, and the only food that I still craved, Twinkies, had long since been consumed.  I began concocting an elaborate story about these “something pockets” in my mind.  I began calling them Minnesota hot pockets.  I figured they would be a Minnesota speciality-- something similar to a West Virginia pepperoni roll or a New Jersey pork roll.  Sure, even though I’m a vegetarian, I negotiated with myself and decided that I would allow myself to eat some delicious meat on this special occasion.  Goddamn, these Minnesota hot pockets were going to be a delicacy that would revive me from this dark place where I found myself.  


Reach out if you smell a sponsorship deal like I do, Nestle.

The last five miles into the Embark teepee were the longest of my life (only to be replaced by the last mile before the Fortune Bay casino some hours later).  The signs that the teepee aid station workers had put out were fucking with my head.  (They were placards with a picture of a leaping fox and excerpts from Robert Frost poems as I learned later but at the time I couldn’t figure out if they were even connected with the aid station and thought they were the work of some sadistic, schizophrenic land owner).  But the thought of that Minnesota hot pocket kept me pushing forward.  


Finally, I arrived at the teepee to aid station workers festooned in fox costumes.  “Can I have one of those hot pockets?,” I implored.  The fox looked at me strangely.  “Do you mean Embark energy packets? We have some of those?”  And the Embark packets were great.  I downed a maple flavored one right there and mixed another coffee-maple flavored one in one of my Nalgene bottles with hot water.  However, I cannot begin to explain the disappointment, even if the embark packets were objectively great.  I sat in the teepee for several minutes and filled all my containers with hot water.  One of the bikers in the teepee began to wax poetically about the existential nature of this race and the pain and cold and hardship being a distilled microcosm of human existence.  Not now, I thought-- there was still another 7-10 hours between me and the finish.  Another 7-10 hours where the pain would just be pain and the cold just the cold and not some grand metaphor.  It was time to get on with it.  


The Finish


When I toed the starting line, I had told myself that there would be a time out on the course where I would just want to finish.  At the same time, I told myself that I knew after I had finished, there would come that familiar emptiness that accompanies so many long sought after and thought about adventures after you complete the goal.  I told myself that it was important to be in the moment and not just think of the finish line.  


That was good advice, but so hard to implement in practice.  My macerated feet were screaming with every step.  It was difficult to breathe.  I had put this down to using the chest harness and had switched to the waist belt, but after I finished I learned this was cold-induced lung problems.  So, I started playing little games with myself.  Run to that tree.  Keep your mile under 20 minutes.  Count the patches of yellow snow.  Anything to distract myself.  


As the second night fell, I welcomed some hallucinations.  The snow capped trees along the side of the trail became spectators cheering me in.  They were wearing bonnets, but maybe that was the style in this part of Minnesota.  


I would see lights in the distance and kept imagining that it was the casino.  It never was.  I would not see the casino and the finish line until I was within several hundred feet of it.  Some 37 hours and 37 minutes later, I had arrived.  One of the many kind volunteers took my sled from me to walk me into the casino.  After so long pulling the sled, I felt like I was still pulling it-- phantom sled syndrome.  I had finished in third place in the foot division, but more importantly I had completed the Arrowhead.



I was an absolute wreck after the race.  To make matters worse, I learned that the casino did not have any hotel rooms available and a cab back to I Falls wasn’t available until the morning, which led to the homeless/drug addict scene that played out in the beginning of this race report. Luckily, however, after learning of the situation, the casino let me and several other racers who were in the same situation sleep on the public area couches.  


The volunteers at the race were fantastic.  It sounds corny, but the act of being at a race that lasts 60 hours and helping all of us wretched racers either finish or drop out safely is a much harder job than just putting one foot in front of the other to run this race.  A special shout out to Emily, who gave my huddled and wheezing ass a puff from her inhaler, to Gretchen, the female on foot record holder at Arrowhead, who tried to get me a hotel room and sorted out my clothes from my sled, and the sleeping arrangements with the casino, and to the guy who went down to my sled to cover me with my -20 degree sleeping bag (even though in my sleep deprived state, I didn’t recognize my sleeping bag).  


Also, everyone says that the runners in a race that are slower but consequently spend more time on the trail are tougher.  I think that’s true for the most part.  However, there’s a big difference between spending more time on a beautiful trail with temperate weather than spending an extra night or two in northernmost Minnesota in bone freezing temperatures.  Those runners that take 50+ hours to finish are another breed of hardass motherfuckers entirely.  


So, how does the Arrowhead stack up in the pantheon of hard races?  It’s hard to say.  While you are in it, every race that you are running is the hardest that you’ve ever run and I thought that several times between MelGeorges and the finish.  However, unlike many other races, I never once thought about quitting (at the same time, this is because trying to quit is potentially more difficult than just moving forward).  It was objectively cold as fuck, yet I never felt uncomfortably cold and realized how efficient our bodies are as furnaces.  I think the toughness comes from how little room for error there is.  You have to be physically fit, but more importantly you have to be dialed in at logistics.  


Overall, I think Ken and Jackie have managed to maintain a race that is hard as hell and not a given when you take to the start line, and thus intimidating, but at the same time is in the realm of possibilities for most runners who have the fortitude to show up.  Like the Plain 100, it is a race that I would run every year if I lived closer, but certainly not a one and done for me.  After all, I do need another qualifying finish for the ITI 350.  


Food Ratings (out of 5 stars)


1. Clif Nut-Filled Bars - 0 stars


Frozen solid almost from the get go.  Only good for wolf defense.


2. Gummy bears - 1 star


Frozen solid quickly, but makes for an adequate hard candy.


3. Dot’s pretzels (honey mustard flavor) - 1.5 stars


Too damn crunchy and flavor is too strong when you don’t want to eat.


4. Potato chips (dill flavored) - 1.5 stars


I couldn’t stop eating these in my motel room before the race.  During the race, it tasted like I’d imagine moose pee would taste.  (Next time, it’s original flavor all the way).


5. Chocolate-covered espresso beans - 2 stars


I thought that I solved the mystery of life when I bought these-- calories, caffeine and deliciousness!  They were functional, but not worth the hours of stale coffee breath on the trail.


6. Peanut butter packets - 2 stars


These were great, until they froze and I couldn’t squeeze anything out.  I guess I could have warmed them near my body, but I was too inpatient.


7. Cashews - 3 stars


Salty and fatty and delicious.  However, difficult to accurately deliver to your mouth while on the trail with gloves on.  Had to pick cashews out of all my race gear and clothing after the race.


8. Reeses peanut butter cups - 3.5 stars


My absolute favorite candy of all time.  While at my office, I can eat 200 of them from the candy bowl.  They were even better when partially frozen.  However, against all odds, after munching on them for over a day, they tend to become too sickly sweet.


9. Pop tarts (cinnamon flavor) - 4.5 stars


I would bring multiple flavors next time.  Hard to get sick of these.  Only stopped eating them after I ran out.


10. Twinkies - 5 stars


Should be the top of the food pyramid in winter racing food.  They have a delicate, sweet flavor that is hard to get sick of.  In the cold, they have a fudgier rather than spongy texture and a creamy mouthfeel.


Top 3 pieces of advice for rookies  


1. Splurge on a good pair of insulated mittens.  I used the Outdoor Research Alti Mitts and they were single handedly the best piece of equipment that I had bought.  It’s great piece of mind to know that you can warm your hands up at a second’s notice.


2. Bring an instant meal with you that you can make with hot water, whether it be oatmeal, ramen, or some camping freeze-dried food.  You will thank me when you reach Embark teepee and they are out of Minnesota hot pockets.


3. The Arrowhead facebook group is a great resource in preparing for the race.  However, what works and doesn’t work is a highly individual experience.  Test out what works for you in the best way that you can prior to the race.

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

2019 Hellgate 100k Race Report: A Cold, Rainy Day in Hell





THE RACE STORY


Chapter 1 - The Plan


Hellgate has been a race that has been on my radar for a long time. However, due to Dr. Horton’s abhorrence of the modern race signup tool known as the internet and my apparently latent bias to the United States Postal system, I had never put my application into the mailbox. This year, with the birth of my second child, Lily, I had promised my wife that I would limit myself to signing up for only five races. Early on in the year I had set my race schedule with four races, culminating in the Plain 100 in September (with the DC Northface 50 in April, Highlands Sky in June, and Twisted Branch 100k in August). I knew that I would want to do a race later in the Fall after Plain and tentatively began thinking about Hellgate.

My Hellgate plan did not become set in stone until July. As a result of my second child being born in February, I had to get creative in my training this year My purchase of the Nordictrack Incline Trainer helped. Did I run the Terrapin Mountain 50k on a treadmill? Yes I did. But I was also forced to run outside whenever I had the opportunity, which was usually when the rest of my family was sleeping. On a weekend late in July, my wife, kids and I piled into the minivan for a trip to the New Jersey shore to visit my parents. The route to my parents house cuts across New Jersey through the Pine Barrens before arriving near the shore. Looking at a map and devising a plan, I had asked my wife to drop me off on the way on the western edge of the Pine Barrens so that I could run the rest of the way to my parents house. Thus, a little after midnight on July 20th, which just so happened to be the hottest day of the summer (85 degrees at midnight) I found myself dropped off on the side of Route 70 with a general route that would take me 40 something miles on highways, back roads, and trails to my destination. It ended up being a transcendent run. From the beautiful desolation of some of the piney towns at night, to the mysterious nocturnal sounds of the pine bogs, to the respite found after the sun came up in running across the be-sprinklered lawns of a retirement village-- the run was both hard and joyous. At 7:00 a.m. at the end of the run, I knew that I needed to run Hellgate.

Leading up to the race, I decided to set an ambitious goal-- a sub-13 hour finish and a top 10 placing. After the entrants list came out, I knew that coming anywhere near the top 10 in such a competitive field would require a force majeure. Nonetheless, all I could do was set myself up to finish in less than 13 hours and let the race play out. In planning my race, I studied Aaron Schwartzbard’s invaluable course description and my friend Ryan Quinnelly’s strava data from his awesome 4th place finish at Hellgate in 2015. Did I use that information to make a split chart or anything else to reference during the race? Of course not. Because at almost 40 years old, I am an old man and extol the virtues of running by “feel” without any need to look at any of those new-fangled watches that the kids are wearing these days.

Training for the race went well. Well, as well as it could considering the needs of my family and job. Six weeks out from Hellgate, still feeling content and complacent after Plain, I decided I needed to set an arbitrary goal for myself-- run at least 10 miles every day for the next 10 days. That arbitrary goal worked, and resulted in 2 weeks with about 75 miles apiece. However, both weeks were sparse on long runs and relied heavily on the treadmill for elevation. For the next week, Ryan Q challenged me to us both hitting 100 mile weeks. That, too, worked, and included one long run on the fire roads in Shenandoah National Park. Then came the taper. Overall, I was very happy with the volume in my training but knew I was missing those back-to-back long runs in the mountains that would really season my downhill running legs. The treadmill is great for training for the uphills, but there is no substitute for the downhill pounding that your legs really need to get ready for a mountain race. Still, I felt confident leading up to race night. And as the weather forecast for the race started coming into focus, excitement combined with that confidence, as it looked like the conditions might make for an epic adventure.

I knew that I would need to try to tamp down that excitement at the start of the race. Going out too fast would ruin the possibility of reaching my goals. I only really was able to internalize this truth in 2017 after many years of running ultras and starting out too fast. The traits that make me a strong ultra runner-- stubbornness and hardheadedness-- are also a personality flaws in everyday life. Thus, despite reading and hearing that one should start out a race conservatively for a long time, it was not until I was forced to experience it at the Miwok 100k that I was really able to accept it. You see, at Miwok, first, I was accidentally stuck near the back of the pack when the horn for the race start was blown sooner than expected. Out of 400 runners, I started out in 200-something place and had to settle into a long conga line as the race immediately went up a major climb forcing me to hike. Then, while still in 200-something place, at the top of the climb, I took a wrong step and twisted my ankle. It wasn’t until about 20 miles into the race, with my adrenaline covering the pain in my ankle, that I was able to start moving up in the field. And move up I did. By the time of the final downhill to the finish, I found myself around 20th place. I would lose a number of places on the downhill due to my wobbly ankle, but a very valuable lesson was learned. A lesson that I planned on implementing at Hellgate-- without the ankle sprain, though.

Chapter 2 - The Prayer


I woke up at 6:00 a.m. on Friday the 13th to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was a message from my kindergartner son’s school-- school was cancelled due to the weather. I looked outside my bedroom window and thought that surely this must be a prank-- there’s no precipitation of any sort falling and the ground is completely dry. Checking the weather reports, however, it appeared to be a prophylactic closing- freezing rain was forecast for later that morning. That freezing rain never materialized in my location in Northern Virginia. However, as I look at the reports from Fincastle, Virginia, near where the race starts, it appeared that surfaces were being glazed over with ice. The forecast for that night is about as bad as it can get. Snow I can handle. Extreme cold temperatures are doable. Instead, it’s predicted that there will be temperatures hovering around freezing and rain-- lots of rain.

As I make the three hour drive from my office in Martinsburg to Camp Bethel for the race, there seemed to be a lull in the rain. It was foggy, but the precipitation had stopped. As I kept refreshing my weather channel app, it looked like the outlook was becoming more positive. Now, there was only about an 80% chance of rain overnight. While I was somewhat buoyed by the forecast, I was also completely aware of the curse placed upon me by the weather gods-- if I’m showing up for a hard race, the rain clouds will be following me-- the 2015 Cloudsplitter 100, where 24 hours of rain turned the former ATV trails into knee deep mud pits, the 2016 Thunder Rock 100, where I learned that 20 hours of downpours and no pre-race groin lubing does not lead to happy results, the 2016 Grindstone, the 2017 Ouray 100, and even this year’s Plain 100, where in a race known for it’s dry and dusty conditions, it rained for the first time in race history. In fact, the only 100 miler that I did where the weather conditions were benign was the 2017 Grindstone. However, like Mr. Bemis from the Twilight Zone, this was a cruel twist of fate because I did not get to enjoy the temperate conditions as I showed up at the start line with full blown sinusitis and laryngitis. With that history, I knew that the 20 percent chance of no rain was not going to happen.

I arrived in Camp Bethel in time to hear Dr. David Horton’s pre-race welcome and prayer prior to the buffet dinner. Little did I realize that the race would soon lead me to question my own religious beliefs, or lack thereof as an agnostic leaning atheist. As Dr. Horton offered a prayer, he said his thanks and then asked god for a small request-- to keep the rain at bay for the 140 or so runners about to set off at 12:01 a.m. Knowing Dr. Horton, perhaps he had his fingers-crossed when making this request. I choose to believe, however, that this is proof of the divine-- not of the benevolent, loving, touchy-feely sort, but rather of the vengeful, brutal god of the old testament. Because as we runners sat around munching on our pre-race lasagna, little did anyone have any idea about how nasty and brutal it was about to get after midnight-- where for most runners any time goals would be set aside and it would become all about surviving the night.



Chapter 3 - The Deluge



At 12:01 a.m. at the race start, it was raining. Not a downpour… yet… but definitely a steady rain. I started, according to my plan, conservatively, and placed myself in the midpack. Knowing it was going to be a long night, morning, and possibly afternoon, I started off slow despite the extremely runnable beginning terrain. It wasn’t easy for me, as I felt like zipping by runners in a long conga line that was forming, but I kept thinking back to Miwok and the lesson learned. Also, I made the best possible clothing choices, again taking some lessons from the Plain 100 this year. Despite shivering at the start line, I donned a short sleeve baselayer, with a long sleeve base layer, and my Outdoor Research Helium jacket on top. I knew that even if my clothes underneath got wet-- and if continued to rain, they would get wet-- my body heat trapped underneath of the jacket would keep me warm enough… as long as I kept moving. I also wore a pair of heavy wool glomitts that I had bought the week before and had a pair of waterproof gloves in a ziplock bag in my pack in case the glomitts got too wet. The only thing that I really questioned pre-race regarding clothing choices was whether to wear full length tights or shorts. While the tights would presumably keep me warmer, I’ve also experienced the displeasure of running for long periods of time in wet tights. Smartly, despite some other very experienced and much faster runners than me going out in shorts, I put on the tights.

As I hit the first climb up to Petites Gap, I naturally started to pass other runners. This is the terrain where I eat-- boring ass, moderately inclined fire roads-- and I make quick work of this milquetoast meal. The rain now seemed to be coming down slightly harder. Soon enough, I’m back onto another climb that’s in my wheelhouse-- up to Camping Gap. At this point, I’m having Terrapin Mountain flashbacks. Also, now it’s not only raining but there’s a thick fog that I’ve ascended into. The parade of headlamps ascending up into the gloom in front of me looked ethereal-- like ghost lights trying to lead me to my doom. As I caught up to one of the ghost lights, I realized it was my buddy Nick, who is a demon descender on the downhills, but who is moving along quite well up the climb too. I wished him a quick word of encouragement as I passed, without realizing the epic struggle through the harsh night that we will both be soon independently fighting. Soon thereafter, I realized that my wool glomitts are no longer keeping my hands dry and feel like boxing gloves filled with concrete-- weighing approximately 86 pounds each. I removed the one on my dominant side so that I could use my right hand to do all the important things-- adjust the beam of my waist light, squeeze and change my hydration bottles, wipe my butt, etc. Keeping it in the sleeve of my jacket seemed to be keeping it warm enough, but I realized I might be having some issues when I try to do the last thing on the above-mentioned list of tasks and can’t really feel if I’m holding onto the toilet paper or not. I then made a conscious decision to change out my gloves once I get to aid station number 4, which had my drop bag.

Chapter 4 - Purgatory


However, when I arrived at aid station 4, that plan fell to shit as I realized that there was something wrong. [None of what I’m about to say should reflect poorly on any of the volunteers who were out there all night and all day in the same miserable conditions. You were all awesome and I can’t thank you enough] If you’ve ever seen Apocalypse Now, there’s a scene in the movie where Martin Sheen’s boat gets to the last American outpost before he encounters Col. Kurtz. As a siege of gunfire and mortars ring out in the background from an unseen enemy, Sheen attempts to find a commanding officer, but quickly realizes there is none. The whole scene is seen through the eyes of one of the soldiers, who had just dropped some lsd. This is what that aid station was like. One of the volunteers tried to locate my dropbag, unsuccessfully. Finally, I was able to find it-- underneath a bunch of other bags which were in no discernable order. I quickly downed an Ensure from the drop bag, but completely forgot about changing gloves. I went to give my drop bag back to the volunteer and he asked me whether I needed help finding my drop bag, seemingly stuck in his own Sisyphean loop of searching for, but not quite finding the bags. I then went to try to fill up my bottles with Tailwind. There was no one there that was assisting in helping the runners fill up their hydration bottles. I asked out loud “what container has the Tailwind”-- there was no answer. Another runner next to me, who seemed to be getting visibly frustrated, was trying to figure out where the water is. His questions, too, went unanswered. I pointed him to an unmarked container and suggested that perhaps that contained water. It did not. He tried it and a brownish liquid poured out-- maybe coffee? iced tea? lsd-laced punch? who knows. I decided that I needed to leave this aid station immediately. This was purgatory and the longer I stayed, the less likely I’d leave. I found a container marked “Razz” and filled my bottles with it. Meanwhile the runner next to me was still calling out into the cold, uncaring night “Water, where is the water?,” as I quickly walked away. As I headed up the road, I called out- “Which way do I go? Is this the way.” No answer. Even though there were people around me-- either I or them had entered the spirit realm and could no longer communicate with each other. As I got further up the road away from the enthrall of the aid station, a person walking along the side of the road finally confirmed that I was in fact moving in the right direction. I only realized after the finish that the aid station workers were likely dealing with extremely hypothermic runners and trying to assist them while us runners that were less hypothermic were left to our own devices. However, it definitely added to the weird factor of an already-surreal journey. 

Chapter 5 - Survive Until Dawn


At this point in the journey, I started realizing that the cold and the incessant rain was having more of an effect on me than I had previously thought. I wasn’t shivering-- following through on my new motto of “just keep on moving” was working on keeping my core body temp from not falling too much. However, with a soaked-through glove on one hand and no glove on the other, I had completely lost dexterity in my fingers. Also, my face, and particularly my lips, felt frozen. I realized this when either I passed another runner or another runner passed me and I tried to offer them customary encouragement. After the words spilled out of my mouth, I thought to myself, “Did I just call that other runner ‘Goo Wad?’” “I hope that runner did not take offense to me calling them ‘Ice Wok’?” No longer able to enunciate with a frozen mouth, I decided that maybe I should just shut up.

At the next aid station, I finally remembered to change my gloves. It was an unreal struggle to try to get the dry, waterproof gloves on my frozen hands. I left the aid station, deciding to continue the struggle while moving forward uphill. Finally, the left glove went on. I then struggled with the right glove for what felt like 15 minutes, finally settling for the fact that I’d probably just have to wear it half on, half off my right hand. I thought of an OJ Simpson joke-- “if the glove doesn’t fit, you still can’t quit.” Luckily for them, there were no other runners around to share it with. Soon, though, my predicament no longer mattered. My so-called “waterproof” gloves were quickly soaked through and went back in my pack.

Adding to the challenge, all of that rain had started to freeze over on the trails. At first, there was a small area on the crown of the fire road where I could still get traction. Then, I was relegated to trudging along on the leaf-strewn sides of the trail. Still, I was moving well uphill-- more out of necessity than anything else because if I kept on moving fast enough I would keep the shivering at bay.

Finally, I allowed myself to start dreaming of daylight, which no longer seemed impossibly far away. I took a look around me, and the forest looked beautiful in the gloaming-- glistening, ice-glazed branches reflecting off the beam of my light.

Chapter 6 - It’s Business Time!


As the sun rose, so did my spirits. And I slowly realized that this is a race and not just survival. At the Bearwallow aid station, it was time to ditch my lights, my gloves, and anything else weighing me down. The only problem-- my fingers still didn’t work. I bashedly asked the aid station workers to help me take off my belt-- err… it’s a waist light… I swear…. that’s what I’m talking about-- and they graciously complied. Now unencumbered, I took off running up the trail. My legs felt great! I mean, I couldn’t feel my legs because they were so cold, but that was a benefit, not a problem. No feeling meant no pain and I was still running this late in the race. I decided now was the time to go on the hunt-- let’s see how far I can move up in the pack.

Chapter 7 - But First, It’s Pierogi Time!



I ran into the penultimate aid station and found the best offerings of the day- whiskey and pierogies! After a shot and several pierogies, I took off downhill on some good running legs. And as I ran, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about those pierogies! Truly the perfect aid station food. In my head, I began planning an aid station at a future race that would include nothing but pierogies. A smorgasbord of pierogi options-- potato, potato and cheese, sauerkraut and cheese, with caramelized onions, and with sweet fillings. And not only would there be any pierogi that a runner might desire at this aid station, I’d also hire a polka band to play Stanky & His Pennsylvania Coal Miners smash hit “Who Wants Pierogi?” I’d call it “The Pierogi, Polka and Perseverance” aid sta……….. and mid-thought I’m on the ground, having fallen on a smooth runnable road section of the race with no rocks or ice in sight. Luckily, it was just a small contusion on my right knee and some ripped tights. Not too bad. Presently, I was up and running again. I thought to myself, “Now where was I… Oh, yes, pierogies”……… and I fell again. This time I hit the road much harder than before, scraping both knees and the palms of my hands, which I used to brace my fall. The pain and oozing of blood snapped me out of my delirium. Enough of this dumpling day dreaming, I thought to myself. It was time to go on the hunt. And, in what seemed like a perfectly reasonable, not-at-all-insane thing to do at the time, I dipped my fingers in some of the freshly-shed blood on my knees and use the blood to put some warpaint on my cheeks. 

What I thought that I looked like with my "war paint."

 
A better representation of what I actually looked like.

Chapter 8 - Now Back to Business Time!


In thinking about this race and strategy, I had decided to imagine the final aid station, Day Creek, as the finish line. It’s the point in the race that is technically around the 100k mark. Also, it is at the end of the so-called single track “forever” section (which I did indeed hate, mainly because it was impossible to get into any type of rhythm) and involves a long sustained climb up a runnable fire road and then a fast and furious descent on fire road and road. I knew that if I could get to that point in relatively good condition, I could crush those last 6 miles.

As I headed uphill after the last aid station, I was passed by another runner who was seemingly gliding up the climb. Luckily, I decided not to try to chase him but stick to a run-hike strategy to try to conserve some energy for the last three miles. I soon saw, however, that he was struggling as well-- alternating between hiking and running-- and I was happy that I could keep him in sight. This continued for the entire climb-- a sort of slow-speed, geriatric chase. He ran, I settled in to a hike, I saw him start hiking, and I started running. Rinse and repeat. After cresting the climb, I passed him on the first bit of downhill as he stopped for a pee break, and I made a comment about us looking like two senior citizens racing up that hill. He gave a polite nod to my comment and I continued past him, pounding the downhill as fast as my battered quads would allow.

It was only after the race that I realized that the runner was the number 2 seeded person in the race-- Michael Dubova-- who was running the course in near record setting time when he had to sit in a car for a very long time to defrost after nearly dropping from hypothermia. I felt bad about my glib comment, particularly since I’m super impressed with his ability and drive to finish the race despite dropping out of contention. I think it speaks volumes for him as a fighter and for the respect that this race breeds in runners, as many other super-talented runners at other races would have simply dropped out rather than embrace the struggle to finish. In fact, the same can be said for any runner who finished the race this year, from Michael Owen, the number one seed, who has run a sub 6 hour race at the JFK 50 and also chose to finish Hellgate this year despite being waylaid by hypothermia, to the person that came in DFL, who had to struggle and fight far longer than anyone else. In fact, after experiencing the conditions of this race first hand, it astounds me that 128 out of 142 runners crossed the finish line. That is some amazing grit. That is what makes this race “special.”

Chapter 9 - Epilogue


I crossed the finish line in 13 hours, 10 minutes and change and in 12th place. It wasn’t quite the result that I had strived for of a sub 13 hour race and perhaps snagging of the last spot in the top 10, but I was and I am super stoked with my race. I also was the momentary winner of “best blood” as a result of my fall, but ceded the award to be handed out to another runner since I decided to drive home before it got dark. With the conditions as they were, I don’t think that I could have asked for a better result. I knew that I would need some carnage at the front of the race and gnarly conditions to have a chance at the top 10 and sure enough there was both. However, I (necessarily) took much more time in the aid stations than I normally would have and spent too much time fussing with gear (see below), which I amateurishly used for the first time in this race. While I’d like to think I’d easily have a “12” as the first number in my time if I had run this race in any other conditions, I’m also not sure how much easier the terrain was this year as a result of all of the water soaking down the leaf debris.

I do know that I’ll return to this race in the future. Perhaps not next year as I only have a limited amount of marital capital to take weekends away from my family for races and lots of races that I still want to experience. And when I do return, I worry that this year’s epic conditions may make every other edition pale in comparison. As singer-songwriter Dan Bern has lamented in his song “Tiger Woods,” which remains on almost all of my race day music playlists, perhaps I “went down on Madonna too soon” by completing this year’s race. Nonetheless, I will be back because this race, much the same as the Plain 100 did this year, feels like a family reunion for the tribe of people that make bad decisions. And I’m happy to be a part of this tribe, which for at least one night in December has David Horton as the patron saint and the patriarch.

THE SPECIFICS


Here’s the gear and clothing that I used during the race:
  • Shoes: Altra Olympus 2.5
  • Socks: Feetures light cushion crew socks
  • Legs: $10 Chinese-manufactured tights from Amazon and $10 Chinese-manufactured shorts from Amazon, with liner cut out.
  • Trunk: Highlands Sky Patagonia short sleeve base layer, Grindstone Patagonia long sleeve base layer, and Outdoor Research Helium rain shell
  • Hands: Fox River Wool Glomitts
  • Head: North Face 50 buff
  • Hydration: Ultimate direction SJ Vest 3.0 with 2 soft flasks
  • Lighting: Ultraspire 800 Lumen waistlight and $20 Petzl headlamp
  • Timing: Garmin 310xt forerunner

WHAT WORKED AND WHAT DIDN’T WORK


1. Ultraspire 800 Lumen Waistlight

I hate talking about gear. I’m a total luddite when it comes to running gear. I mostly buy outdated models and cheap clothing or just wear the clothes I get from races. However, I decided before the race to splurge on one thing— the Ultraspire 800 Lumen waistlight. It’s without a doubt the most expensive running item I’ve ever bought, even with it being on sale at $165. Still, I figured that the money would be well worth being able to see well while running throughout the night. As for the lighting, it worked great! Particularly in the raining and foggy conditions where a headlamp would have been close to useless. However, perhaps because of the conditions, the supposed 4 to 15 hour run time is a complete myth. On the two fully charged batteries that came with the light, I was able to get 3 hours of run time on the 400 lumen setting. I had also brought a lightweight battery pack with me as well as it would also be able to run by attaching a usb cable from the pack to the light. The battery pack had about double the capacity of the batteries. That too only lasted for 3 hours. One of the features of the light is that it does not dim itself as the battery juice gets used up. That’s great.. while the light is on. However, it is completely disconcerting when you’re flying down a technical trail with a steep drop off on the side and suddenly find yourself in complete blackness. Also, because the light is attached to your waist, you have to slow down whenever the trail takes a sharp turn as your head turns much more quickly than your waist does. It does lead to a quite comical effect though as you have to suggestively thrust your hips around each turn as though air-humping the trail.

2. Tailwind

Tailwind is great! I’ve used it as both my hydration and calories in races for many years now and would never go back to gels. However, in such cold conditions, the Tailwind needs to be much more concentrated and not just 2 scoops per bottle. All of that water and no sweating meant that I had to stop to piss approximately 666 times. Did I start to think about just pissing myself? Of course, I did, but luckily I kept my dignity intact at least in that regard.

3.  Sleeping before the race

Before making the drive down to Camp Bethel, I removed the baby seats, folded the seats back, and blew up an aeromattress in my Kia Soul (That's right, if you've been paying attention, my family owns a minivan and a Kia Soul... eat your heart out everyone).  Between the pre-race meal and the race briefing and the race briefing and the drive to the start, I planned to lay down in my sleeping bag and get some shut eye.  Sleep did not come easily, though I figured that I had to have actually fallen asleep when I realized that I had no idea what was going on in the podcast that I was listening to.  It was probably only about 20 minutes of actual sleep.  However, that 20 minutes, plus the several hours of lying down was greatly beneficial, and I'd highly recommend trying to get any sleep that you can to any future participants in Hellgate.  I was never tired during the race, and (somewhat unfortunately) hallucinations were kept to a minimum.  The only notable hallucination to speak of was when running by the race photographer (who after the race I learned was Jessica Croisant from the Sugarstride Podcast, which I really enjoy, and who I should have thanked for creating) it looked like from a distance that she was a bear.  Not an actual black bear, but smokey the bear, which was perplexing because I was quite sure there was a 0% chance of wild fire that day. 

The damage, which my wife informed me really isn't nearly impressive as I think it is after I told her it was impossible to change the baby's diapers with such gnarled appendages.